DAVO'S VIETNAM WAR HOMECOMING TO AUSTRALIA, JULY 1968

They didn't deserve it - they were innocent!

You have probably gathered, if you have reached this page after reading the rest, that life was a tad tedious after returning from Vietnam. My family suffered immensly, through no fault of their own. They became the focus of my anger, my frustration and my drinking. My wife and I fought (not all the time), but I really didn't give her much to be thankful for. She suffered her own PTSD from the Vietnam War - ME!

Didn't have a Clue...

Our marriage was rocky to say the least. When I was out of hospital she would be in hospital. She carried me when I was incapable of carrying myself. She was my strength and I was destroying her. She had every reason to leave and take the boys with her, but she didn't. I left a trail of wreckage behind me. Was I justified? - NO! I didn't have a clue what was happening to me and no one could tell me or explain it to me, and that didn't make it right. My wife and children did not deserve what I dished out to them - no way!

We were Changed...

Even today I hear of veterans who are still living as I lived from 1967 and on. We were young, and the war changed us. How many times have you heard, "He was so nice before he left, but he came back changed - he's not the same person - he's not nice to be around." We may have destroyed our families through events in relationship breakdown after returning to Australia, but it doesn't have to be like that until we depart planet earth.

Broken Relationships...

There is much to be done in restoring family relations generally in the Veteran community. It is never too late, and I realise that for some it has been finalised. I know a veteran whose son hasn't spoken to his father in over two years because he thinks his father has lost the plot. His dad hasn't - dad has just come to realise he has PTSD. He suffers other physical disabilities, but the tragedy is the brokenness of relationship between a father and his son - these are the unseen wounds of Vietnam that I believe need healing and no amount of Government legislation will accomplish that.

My wife should have suffered long term after effects of the shock treatment she was given- she didn't! My children should have disowned me - they didn't! I should have terminated - I didn't!

Tragedy...

A major tragedy is that young men and women, who should have enjoyed the richness of family didn't.  Unfortunately, it was a case of from the jungle back into 'civi' street.  How does a soldier adjust from war one day, to his/her family the next day?  For the soldier, the war continued on a different battle front.  Now the family members and close friends were the target of the returned soldier's aggression, anger, resentment, rejection, hurt and so on.  Many lived their life out in Vietnam expecting not to return. And so they returned to their families and friends, changed with their youth gone - their quality of life severely damaged due to the processes of war.  Society rejected them and their families now had to cope with the aftermath.  For many, the family unit was wrecked by Vietnam.

The real tragedy is that many veterans do not yet know of the help that is there for them, their partner and their children.  It wasn't until some 28 years down the track that I finally was able to plug into the VVCS and receive the help that I needed. 

Listen...

Mate, if you have been reading the pages of this site and can identify with my life's story of life after the Vietnam War, and you know you need help to climb out of the bunker you find yourself in, then give VVCS a call.  Speak to a digger friend and ask for help in taking that first step to regaining your life.